back, back again + long days + thankfulness

Guess who's baaaacccckkkk?
Me. It's me, I'm back.

As I write this, I am sitting in my recliner. My apartment is warm, my Christmas tree is lit up, and the tea is on the stove. I just got home after an 11.5 hour day at work. My roommate Alexis and I just ordered gluten-free pizza and while waiting upon it's arrival, we are debriefing from our day. 

Alexis and I were just talking about how I was talking with a very well-known customer today, Miss Mary. She asked if I was tired from the holiday rush. I replied with a 'yes', but continued by saying, 'but I need to remember I'm really fortunate to even be working right now.' Miss Mary gave me a bit of a surprised look and said, 'Well, I guess there are quite a bit of people unemployed right now..'.

I wanted to just leave it at that, but I felt the need to tell her what I actually meant.

I continued by telling Mary about the revelation I had the other day; I told her that sometimes I forget. I forget that as of a year and a half ago, I was still in a wheelchair. I forget that I couldn't walk to the back of a store and walk back out without either passing out or having my legs give out. I forget that I could only work jobs that allowed me to sit down all day.
I forget. I forget all of this because somehow, today, I am working 40 hour weeks, on my feet at all times, and I'm healthier than ever. I forget about how sick I was, because God is faithful to provide; He is faithful to me. Yes, I am tired. But I'm tired because I've been working really, really hard. 

I've prayed and asked that I could have a chance at a 'normal' life for years now. And you know what? I'm living it. And there is no place I'd rather be.

I'm really grateful that I get to be this exhausted.


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Check out my 'Pictures' tab to see some new stuff.. my super talented friend, Darren, is the man behind His Glory Productions. He is crazy talented and such a sweet person. Check out his website to see more of his work: www.hisgloryproductions.org.

xoxo,
gp

Willing Hands and a Happy Heart

Wow. Remember when I said I was going to be writing at least once a week? That was before I started working 40 hours a week. Sorry, friends. I'll be back at that soon. In the meantime, I'll give you one big post of what's been going on as of late.

August 12, 2015 marked the beginning of my new journey at Side By Side Ministries. As of today, it is day 45. How have I been here 45 days already? Good golly. 

I'm going to be honest with you, it has been the most challenging 45 days of my life. Forty-five challenging, tiring, emotional, and INCREDIBLE days. 

I don't even know where to start. SO much has happened in my heart and I'm so in awe of The One who is orchestrating my life song. Normally, I would work really hard at laying it all out for you beautifully and eloquently. But today, my mind can't quite handle that. So please, enjoy the following list of things that have been happening and thoughts I've been having. (Sorry, I just really like lists.)

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1.) I was taken to a new doctor in Omaha. Dr. Lozier is a Functional Medicine Doctor. Here is a little bit about what he does, (this is an excerpt taken from the Lozier Natural Health Center website):

'Dr. Lozier is a Chiropractic Physician, Internal Health Specialist, and Certified Acupuncturist with specialized training in Nutrition, Herbology, Homeopathy, Functional Medicine, Endocrinology, and Sports Rehabilitation.'  

I have been to so many doctors and heard so many different answers. I had begun to learn how to manage my symptoms and just live with pain because all of my other doctors ended up saying the same thing; 'We don't know how to treat you.' 'You're a 19 year old with the body of an 80 year old.' 'You're a walking science experiment.' I had told this to my mentor, in which she responded, "You shouldn't have to live that way." Those words lead to me walking through the doors at Dr. Lozier's office. I left that day in tears. Not sad tears, no. They were tears of relief. 

Dr. Lozier sat me down, looked at my paperwork and said, "Whoa", which didn't surprise me. He then looked me in the eyes and said, "Basically Gracia, your body is toxic. A complete toxic dump, if I'm being honest. There is not one single system in your body working correctly. Truthfully, your body is really broken. When people come here, I usually say it's going to take about a year to get their health back to where it needs to be. You, though; you're going to take probably around 2 years. You're really sick, Gracia. But, we are going to reverse it. There is hope for you."

It's been a really tough journey so far. I'm going through a detox stage and my body really hurts. We are not looking at the big picture right now, but instead we are celebrating small victories. I am noticing changes in my body. Though they be small, I see them. I feel them. The Lord is guiding me and healing me oh, so sweetly and oh, so tenderly. It's really, really beautiful.

2.) I hired a personal trainer. Oh my goodness, guys. Did anyone every think that would actually happen? Wait, what? Is that a no I'm hearing? Well, HAHA NEITHER DID I. 

I had gone in to sign up for my gym membership, and they told me I'd get a free consultation with a trainer and they would find out how out of shape I am and yada yada yada. After that, I could decide if I wanted a trainer or not. Well, I had gone in one day after work to work out on my own, and I was stopped by the guy who does the consultations. He asked to do the consultation then, instead of a few days later, when we had originally scheduled it. Not really knowing what a consultation entailed, I agreed and we began taking my measurements, my weight, and so on. Little did I know, this also included an OH SO LOVELY workout. By 'oh so lovely', I mean that at one point I was laying face-first on the floor of the gym crying. I was planning on walking out of the gym and NOT signing up, but I really felt God pushing me to do it. Reluctantly, I sat in the office for another 30 minutes after doing what felt like 30 BAJILLION push ups (not actually that much), and signed up for a trainer. I came home that night, called my best friend, and I believe this is how our conversation went:

Grace: "Hello?"

Myself: *sobbing* "GRACE, I JUST SIGNED UP FOR A PERSONAL TRAINER AND IT'S GOING TO BE SO GOOD FOR ME AND I'M SO MAD."

Grace: *laughs hysterically*

Well, all initial emotions aside, just know that training has been so, so great. I love my trainer, she's knowledgeable about what I can and can't do physically due to years of being sick, and she pushes me just enough. I'm really excited to get my strength back.

3.) Part of working at the ministry means working at Habituè. If any of you know me, you know that I have refused to work in any kind of food service for a many different reasons; including, but definitely not limited to, my clumsiness,  being on my feet, not really being a 'people person', and a hatred for doing dishes.  

I am convinced that God has quite a sense of humor, because guess what? I work full time at a coffee shop and bakery. I interact with customers constantly on a daily basis, I'm on my feet ALL THE TIME, I do some sort of dishes every day, and I'm doing all of the things I have always said I would never do. 

Guess what's even more surprising? I love it. 

I asked the Lord to give me a verse to fuel me and give me direction in this new season, and this is what I was given: She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. [Proverbs 31:13]  Willing hands.. Do you think that maybe, just maybe, God is trying to tell me something? HA!

This job challenges me in a way I never thought was possible, and through it, I have seen and experienced the Fruits of the Spirit in way I didn't think was possible. I have seen the love that this business puts into every single thing they do. I have experienced the joy that fuels every single person working there. I have felt the peace that comes with walking into those doors every day. My, oh my, I have seen kindness and goodness absolutely overflowing out of everyone that is a part of this ministry. I have experienced gentleness and patience in not only my co-workers, but our customers; tenderly pushing me to learn new things, allowing me to mess up, and still giving me grace. Lastly, I have come to know self-control in everything that is said or done.

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Friends, I'm learning and experiencing more that I could have ever imagine, and doing things I've always said I would never do. The Lord is speaking to me and opening my ears constantly, and it has been absolutely beautiful. 

Thank you so much to everyone who has and continues to support me in this crazy transition. And I promise, once I figure out how to 'adult' and manage my time better, I will be writing more often. 

Until next time~

xoxo,

gp

Surrendering Control, Humility, & Ugly Crying

Guys, I am an ugly crier. My face gets all red, my lips and eyes swell to the size of Texas, my nose gets sniffly. It's not cute. It's exhausting. I've always envied the gals in the movies at somehow look glamorous while crying. Seriously, what kind of sorcery is that?! 

Over the years, I have worked hard at making my breakdowns few. When they do happen, I've always made sure that it happened in private. Alone, by myself; for no one to see my face turn into a misshapen, wet tomato. 

In my transition to life in LeMars and Side By Side Ministries, my comfort zone has been stretched beyond what I can even begin to fathom. Guys, it hasn't even been three weeks yet. And guess what? I have cried every. single. day. Even better? These episodes have almost always happened in front of people. My tears have been a mash-up of frustration induced sobbing, what-the-heck-have-I-gotten-myself-into weeping, loss of control grieving, humility boo-hoo's, and of course, joy-filled and awe-struck bawling. 

For so many years I have been the go-to-gal when it came to ministries I worked with. I've always been the one with all of the answers and the one who knew what was going on. I built myself a pretty high pedestal and named it 'leadership'. My 'leadership qualities' consisted of organization, control, and bossiness. For a long time I've been pretty hung on my own self; worrying about MY time, MY life, MY job, and MY way of doing things. But who was I to believe I was so great? On my first day down here I had a pretty big reality check. I needed a real big piece of humble pie. It was time for me to step down, confess to my confusion, speak with nothing but kindness, surrender control, and admit that maybe, just maybe, I don't know everything. 

Like I said, folks. It hasn't even been three weeks. The Lord has done more changing in my heart in less than a month than I thought would be possible in even a year's time. This journey has proven to be really tough so far, and I know this is just the beginning. It is lonely and challenging, but it is incredible. I am so beautifully in over my head and I wouldn't change it for the world. Ugly-crying and all.

Post Family Vacation [part 1]

Ah, the Post family vacation. One of the most dreaded and most anticipated things of each year. Let's just say that my family gives a whole new meaning to the word 'high-strung' and 'sassy'. I love them, nonetheless. This year, we took along someone new! My best friend, Grace, tagged along. Thank God, otherwise my brother and I would have strangled each other by now.

It has been quite the experience so far, and I cant wait to see what this upcoming weekend brings us. Here is a little bit of a recap of what the first few days have looked like so far.

Cya later, Sioux Center!

We drove and drove and drove. Then we drove some more.

On the first night we stayed in a cute little mom & pop motel. It wasn't bad, except for the shower. I never knew water could go from blister-your-skin-hot to antarctica-cold in .25 seconds. Ugh.

We took the scenic route on the way to Yellowstone and came across this beauty.

I have never been to this part of the country before, so seeing all of this left me absolutely awe-struck. 

Pictures can't do it justice!

This was called the 'Post Creek'. We figured we best go explore since we share the same namesake. 

This is the first time in about a year Spencer has taken a picture with me. Oh, 17 year olds.

Sunflower fields and mountains. Does it get any better than that?

Love, love, love it here!

We all love water, so we stopped by it whenever we could.

Spencer went on an adventure.

So glad she's along!

WE NEVER WANT TO LEAVE.

Imagine waking up to this view..

Of course, we can't go without stopping for coffee.

Yellowstone Lake. Such beauty.

Can we appreciate Spencer's legs here for a moment? Gotta love that construction worker tan line. 

throwing rocks = splashing = WET.

Breathtaking.

And finally, Old Faithful!

 Follow my Instagram (link to the right) to keep up with our trip!

xoxo,
gp

Life Update, August 2015

An important update for you all..

Some of you know that back in April I joined the staff at HOME (House Of Missions & Equipping). I have loved every minute of being part of this team and it has grown me in more ways than I can count in a short amount of time.

If you've read my most recent post (check it out here), you know that for about a year now I have been waiting for direction as to where the Lord has been leading me. My life has been a storm cloud of unknown.. but He knows my unknown.  And He has recently made that even more evident.

After much prayer and consideration, I have decided to accept a position at Side By Side Ministries down in LeMars, IA. This means I will be moving down there and working full-time in their Ambassadors Program. This is a really scary move for me, as this is my first time moving out on my own. I have never been one to handle change well, but my heart has a really beautiful sense of peace surrounding this transition.

HOME has been and always will be where God first began to build my heart for prayer and worship, and I hope to be back one day; but for now, I need to follow where He is leading me.

I move early this month (!!!), and as each day comes closer, my anticipation rises. I am ready for this change and am mindful of all the challenges that it may bring. 

Thank you for those who have encouraged me so far! You are a blessing.

Until next time...
xoxo,
gp

He Knows

   Yesterday someone sat me down and asked me the following questions: 'What are your life goals? Where do you want to be in 5 years; in 10 years?' I sat there for a bit trying to process this. I was then forced to come to the realization that I had been avoiding for a year now. 'I don't know,' I sheepishly responded, 'I just don't know.'

   For about a year now I have wandering. I have been searching. For what, I am not even totally sure of. I have been running from all questions; my own and other's. Perhaps I am looking for myself, and searching for the pieces that make me whole. Maybe I'm just scared of the unknown. Some have said I just have restless, roaming spirit and I will always be running. Maybe I'm just never supposed to stay put. I don't know.

   The words 'I don't know' have beeing constant on my lips. I don't know what my life goals are. I don't know what is in store for my next 10 minutes, let alone my next year or more. I don't have any answers or beautiful, eloquent words of advice. My life is a big storm cloud of unknown.

   But, there is one thing I DO know. He does. He knows. He knows why I feel stuck. He knows what I have spent so long looking for. He knows what my heart yearns for. He knows the year of sleepless nights. He knows where I'm going. He knows my broken pieces. He knows my secret place, He knows my dark place. He knows my unknown. He knows me. He is my peace. He my Sunshine.

xoxo,
gp

The Adventures of Grace & Gracia

My best friend Grace and I are known for our stories, adventures, and for the ridiculous things we get ourselves into. I figured I would give you all a front row seat to our antics. If you are a return reader, you more than likely know lots about me, but you should probably know Grace a little better before we start. Without any further adieu, meet Grace.

Grace is one of those people that flies by the seat of her pants and runs on her own schedule; at all times. She is quite messy and definitely NOT a morning person. (It's ridiculous, really.) On the up side, she's the smartest person I know. She is a triple major in Psychology, Sociology, and Social Science at University of Sioux Falls. She can basically read your mind. Not really, but almost. Not only the smartest person I know, but the strongest. We call her a she-hulk. She can beat about anyone in arm wrestling- seriously. She is a wonderful Auntie to 2 nieces, 5 nephews, and 2 on the way. She loves Diet Mountain Dew, beef jerky, laughing, and cozy blankets. Most importantly, she loves Jesus with every fiber of her being. Her faith is unshakable and she is just all-around a beautiful person. 

Stay tuned for The Adventures of Grace & Gracia.