Life Update, August 2015

An important update for you all..

Some of you know that back in April I joined the staff at HOME (House Of Missions & Equipping). I have loved every minute of being part of this team and it has grown me in more ways than I can count in a short amount of time.

If you've read my most recent post (check it out here), you know that for about a year now I have been waiting for direction as to where the Lord has been leading me. My life has been a storm cloud of unknown.. but He knows my unknown.  And He has recently made that even more evident.

After much prayer and consideration, I have decided to accept a position at Side By Side Ministries down in LeMars, IA. This means I will be moving down there and working full-time in their Ambassadors Program. This is a really scary move for me, as this is my first time moving out on my own. I have never been one to handle change well, but my heart has a really beautiful sense of peace surrounding this transition.

HOME has been and always will be where God first began to build my heart for prayer and worship, and I hope to be back one day; but for now, I need to follow where He is leading me.

I move early this month (!!!), and as each day comes closer, my anticipation rises. I am ready for this change and am mindful of all the challenges that it may bring. 

Thank you for those who have encouraged me so far! You are a blessing.

Until next time...
xoxo,
gp

He Knows

   Yesterday someone sat me down and asked me the following questions: 'What are your life goals? Where do you want to be in 5 years; in 10 years?' I sat there for a bit trying to process this. I was then forced to come to the realization that I had been avoiding for a year now. 'I don't know,' I sheepishly responded, 'I just don't know.'

   For about a year now I have wandering. I have been searching. For what, I am not even totally sure of. I have been running from all questions; my own and other's. Perhaps I am looking for myself, and searching for the pieces that make me whole. Maybe I'm just scared of the unknown. Some have said I just have restless, roaming spirit and I will always be running. Maybe I'm just never supposed to stay put. I don't know.

   The words 'I don't know' have beeing constant on my lips. I don't know what my life goals are. I don't know what is in store for my next 10 minutes, let alone my next year or more. I don't have any answers or beautiful, eloquent words of advice. My life is a big storm cloud of unknown.

   But, there is one thing I DO know. He does. He knows. He knows why I feel stuck. He knows what I have spent so long looking for. He knows what my heart yearns for. He knows the year of sleepless nights. He knows where I'm going. He knows my broken pieces. He knows my secret place, He knows my dark place. He knows my unknown. He knows me. He is my peace. He my Sunshine.

xoxo,
gp

The Adventures of Grace & Gracia

My best friend Grace and I are known for our stories, adventures, and for the ridiculous things we get ourselves into. I figured I would give you all a front row seat to our antics. If you are a return reader, you more than likely know lots about me, but you should probably know Grace a little better before we start. Without any further adieu, meet Grace.

Grace is one of those people that flies by the seat of her pants and runs on her own schedule; at all times. She is quite messy and definitely NOT a morning person. (It's ridiculous, really.) On the up side, she's the smartest person I know. She is a triple major in Psychology, Sociology, and Social Science at University of Sioux Falls. She can basically read your mind. Not really, but almost. Not only the smartest person I know, but the strongest. We call her a she-hulk. She can beat about anyone in arm wrestling- seriously. She is a wonderful Auntie to 2 nieces, 5 nephews, and 2 on the way. She loves Diet Mountain Dew, beef jerky, laughing, and cozy blankets. Most importantly, she loves Jesus with every fiber of her being. Her faith is unshakable and she is just all-around a beautiful person. 

Stay tuned for The Adventures of Grace & Gracia.

Style Confused

I have a confession. A very embarrassing confession.

I used to be one of those gals. The kind what you would never see wearing the same outfit more than once, never left the house without a perfectly painted face, and would not be caught dead in sweatpants.

And now, thank the Lord, those days are over.

For a long time now, I have been style confused. Yes, that's right. Style confused. Meaning that my style has made a complete 180 degree turn more times than I can count. My wardrobe has been constantly evolving and transforming, leaving me with a closet stuffed full of 18,253,000 different kinds of clothes.

About 5 months ago I got really, really fed up with a closet overflowing with clothes I absolutely hated wearing. I mean, seriously. I still had tanktops from 7th grade, sparkly shirts from my freshman year of high school, and shoes coming out of my ears.

Well, that, and.. I recently lost a significant amount of weight and nothing fit me the way I wanted it to.

I've tried Stitch Fix, online personal stylists, all of it. And nothing has ever really worked for me.

About that same time, this 'capsule wardrobe' thing became really big. My friend and mentor, Liza, started doing it and even featured it on her own blog. I began finding more articles on it; I researched this thing upside down and backwards. I soon realized it's almost exactly how my mom has been dressing for years: mix & match layers.

I figured I've made worse decisions concerning how I dress, so this couldn't be the end of the world. I began by spending countless hours going through my infamous closet. I found myself looking at things and saying things like, 'I actually really hate this shirt and the tags are still on it. Why did I even buy it?', or 'Do I really need 8 different grey v-necks? Probably not.'

By the end, I was left with about 1/8 of what my closet was originally. Let me tell you something; it was so stinkin' freeing knowing that I didn't have endless amounts of clothes that I didn't even like just hanging there staring me right in the face.

Then, I ran into another hurdle. I hardly had any clothes left and I really didn't know what to do. I had the ability to literally start from scratch. I then reevaluated and started a Pinterest board to figure out what I really wanted my wardrobe to look like. I narrowed it down and turns out that there are two different style that I love: simple & classic and laid-back & bohemien. They are somewhat similar, but are definitely different. And the thing is, they're both so.. me. I couldn't choose one or the other.

simple & classic  -  laid-back bohemian

I deciphered what I liked and what attracted me to each style. With the simple & classic look, I really liked the somewhat muted colors and the ease that it portrayed. With the laid-back & bohemian look, I liked the mixture of textures and patterns, plus pretty details. After I figured this out, I combined both styles to create a wardrobe that is tailored specifically for me.

I also really needed to think logically as far as what I needed in a wardrobe. The capsule wardrobe idea is based off of having a certain amount of shirts, pants, etc., but that wasn't practical for me. You see, I hate pants. I have a very small waist and a very large ..achem.. rear end, so finding pants that actually fit me is a struggle. So, my go-to is dresses. I just have to worry about how the top fits and the bottom just kind of hangs there. You see, I had to figure out what worked for me, not what works for everyone else. 

Once I figured everything out, it was so simple. Everything in my closet can go together, so getting ready in the morning is fun. I grabbed 9 things from my closet to give you an idea of what it's like. 

Here are the pieces I selected: 

jean vest

utility vest

knee length cardigan

t-shirt dress

kimono

tank dress

white tee

animal print tank

graphic tank

and one piece of jewelry:

______________________________________________

The end result is so fun. All of these pieces could go together in a million different ways, but here are a few examples: 

white tee + utility vest

utility vest + animal print tank

animal print tank + knee length cardigan

kimono + graphic tank

jean vest + graphic tank

knee length cardigan + tank dress

utility vest + t-shirt dress

I also reinvented my shoe collection. Here are a few pairs you can often catch me wearing that can go with about anything in my closet:

lace-up cage wedges

sperry loafers

sperry sandals 

michael kors kitten heels

printed toms

_________________________________________________________

It really is a simple concept that makes getting ready each day not complete torture. If you're up for the challenge, I encourage you to do this too. It's just wonderful.

Until next time-

gp

Welcome to My Sunshine

I've always hated change.

*sigh*

..and my life has made some pretty big changes lately, so I figured I might as well switch this up, too.

With that being said..

Welcome to my new and improved blog: My Sunshine. And guess what? I'm planning on updating this thing more than like.. once a month. That means you get a front row seat to my not-so-normal life. You're welcome. (Please note my sarcasm there. Thanks.)

Take a look around, make yourself at home. There's a lot of new stuff and it's pretty neat, if I do say so myself.

Thanks for taking a look, friends!

xoxo, 

gp

habits

They say it takes about 21 days to form a habit. 

"We are what we repeatedly do", Aristotle has said. 

Alright, so what happens if we do things for years on end? You'd assume some things just become second nature, yes? Well, that is correct. 

I'm sure you're thinking, 'Graish, where the heck are ya going with this?' Well, follow me into the events of this past month..

Friday, March 13, 2015 - I met with my neurologist that morning and by 1:00 pm I was getting sudden steroid injections into my greater occipital nerves in the back of my head.

Friday, March 20, 2015 - 'I should have started to feel better days ago', I thought. I then began running a low-grade fever for the next few days.

Monday, March 23, 2015 - I went to see my primary doctor. The injection sites were infected. Fun fact (it's actually not so fun) : they've never seen these get infected before. Ever. I started on antibiotics.

Thursday, March 26, 2015 - Again, I thought, 'The antibiotics should really be helping by now. I'm only feeling worse.' I called the clinic to ask about it, they called back immediately saying the doctor needed to see me asap. The conclusion was that I needed to be on stronger antibiotics. 

Monday, March 30, 2015 - I was working and couldn't be on my phone much that morning, so my mom was in contact with the doctors. Between a couple of my primary doctors & a few of my specialists up in Sioux Falls, they decided that this is probably not a good thing. To put it lightly, they kind of freaked out. I got a call at work saying I needed to get to the hospital ASAP to see my doctor and have some tests done. After an afternoon of needles, big machines, and the ever so dreaded 'sympathy look' from a majority of my nurses, I was told it was either some form of meningitis (inflammation of the spinal cord) or encephalitis (inflammation of the brain.) 

--pause--

I'm sure you're still wondering what this has to do with forming habits.. Hold on, folks. I'm gettin' there. 

--play--

So, at this point, I was still really oblivious to it all. I remember sitting in that room with my doctor, unable to move my neck or even form proper sentences at that point, saying 'I don't know, maybe I'm just coming down with a bad case of the flu.' I was completely numb as to what was actually happening. You see, this is my long-time habit. It is not a good habit. I've noticed bits and pieces of it over the years, but it never really hit me until now. 

I numb myself to my pain until it gets me in trouble. 

That Monday night, I still didn't believe that there was something really seriously wrong with me. So, naturally, I went to Target. Nothing a little retail therapy can't fix, huh? That's when it happened. That's when it hit me. At 9:47 pm my phone rang. I looked down to see a cell phone number with a tiny little 'Rock Valley, IA' under it. I didn't think much of it until I answered. 

It was my doctor, calling on his personal cell phone. Only to tell me that they hadn't figured it out yet, but they were going to work on it until they did. 

That's what hit me. The fact that he was still at the hospital working on this, not at home with his family. The fact that he called me himself, and didn't bother to have one of his nurses call me. That is what hit me. This was serious. 

I got a call a couple days later confirming that it was encephalitis. The cool thing is, after about 10 days on a couple different meds, I should be fine. We're just really thankful that they caught it in time and that there isn't going to be any lasting effects. I'm still very exhausted and will be for a while, but I'm doing better.

- 

I know I'm going to get some feedback saying 'Why didn't you tell me this was going on?!' You see, if I didn't tell very many people, then, in my head, it wouldn't be as real. I wasn't planning on making this whole thing very public, but maybe my pain and vulnerability might just be someone's gain. 

Hear my heart: 

For countless years, I have lived in a little cocoon of deliberate numbness. In this place, I can control the things I feel both physically and emotionally. I can't get hurt, because no one else is going to be let in. I had tricked myself into thinking that it was 'peaceful', in a sense, to be completely and utterly alone. This was a very cold, dark place, but it was easy.

You see, it is a strange feeling, being kicked out of the place I once saw as my safe place. Kicked into a world of sickness, a world of unknowns, and a world full of things that I have absolutely no way of controlling. A world of surrender. It is a strange feeling, but it is a free feeling. Because yes, this world is full of real pain and real heartache, but it is also full of real happiness, real love, and real joy. 

My habit is making myself numb. It has taken me years to perfect this habit. But today I think that maybe, just maybe, that's it's time to break that habit & create a new habit of joy & vulnerability, yes? Today I claim that numbness, sadness, darkness; they have no hold on me! The JOY of the LORD is my strength.

Friends, are you with me? For the next 21 days, I challenge you to form a new habit. Whatever you want. Is it something you know you need but are too stubborn to face it, like me? Is it something as simple as going to the gym daily? You decide. Let's go on this adventure together. 

xoxo,

gp

welcome to my happy place: kitchen edition

Hey there, friends! It's been a while. Today was an exciting day. Why? Because the electrician left for one last time and my kitchen is now finished. FINALLY.

I moved to Sioux Center a year ago this past February. When we found this house, we were pleasantly surprised to find a brand new kitchen inside. New cabinets, granite counter tops, a beautiful island, new appliances. It was great! Then we moved in, and realized something. There were quite a few things missing. Proper lighting and a backsplash were no where to be found, the trim throughout the whole house was the original 60's yellow-y wood, and the flooring was odd & didn't look great with the rest of the kitchen. That's when we knew we had to finish the project.

So here I am, over a year later, excited to show you our progress. Before you scroll through the pictures and before you start with the 'ooooos' and the 'aaahhhhs', know these few things:

1. We haven't done the flooring yet. It's expensive and we decided we can live with it for the time being.

2. Same with the trim. It's still pretty nasty. I hate it with a burning passion, but again, I can live with it.

3. There is still a hole in the ceiling waiting to be patched. Ignore that. :)

4. This kitchen is not my style- at ALL. If I had it my way the cabinets would all be white, there would be a beautiful WHITE tile backsplash, I would have butcher block and concrete countertops, it would stay clean all the time and I would never have to do dishes and... whew, sorry, I was getting a little deep in my dream world there for a second. The fact of the matter is, this is the real world. This is what came with the house and I'm working with it. I also cannot keep a kitchen clean for more than a few hours to save my life, and I still hate doing dishes. Note the fact that I have a sink full of them in the pictures. 


OKAY, here we go. Welcome to my kitchen!

Overview:

Lighting:

We got all of our light fixtures for cheap from Lowes. SCORE!

Favorites:

Here are a few of my favorite little areas!

aaaaaaannnnd of course, I couldn't help but take a picture of how cute these two were being!

That's all, folks! Thanks for reading!
xoxo,
gp