all about that bass..what?

Okay, I need to rant about this. 

There have been many blog posts circulating lately about the newest single by Meghan Trainor, All About That Bass. It may be one of the catchiest songs I have ever heard in my existence. I admit that I have found myself strutting my stuff and dancing with the broom while sweeping my office when this particular song begins to play.

Here it is for those who haven't heard it before:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PCkvCPvDXk

The problem that has been arising is that people are seeing this song as body shaming girls who don't have curves in ‘all the right places’, as the song states, or enough ‘booty’, and so on. I am 100% against body shaming whether it be shaming someone who is pin-thin or lumpy. I hate that she refers to thin folks as skinny bi ..witches. So not cool. And the fact that she brings up that it's what guys want? Ugh don't even get my started on that. I am totally with those who are upset with the nature of this song, but I also am playing devil’s advocate. I, being a bigger girl myself, see another side of this song, too.

I am so sick of hearing all this ‘But you're so pretty! You're not fat!' crap. You know what? I am. I am big girl and I know it. I embrace it. Don't try to tell me I'm not. And just because I’m bigger that most doesn't mean I don’t love myself any less. I LOVE the way I look. I am confident in it. I am proud of it, in fact. I do not need people telling me that I am ‘still pretty anyway’. I am beautiful no matter what my size and my size should not dictate whether I am labeled beautiful. I mean, yeah I could afford to use a few, but I'm not going to sit here and get butt hurt about it. It is incredibly degrading when girls who are already struggling with their size get told that they're STILL beautiful, or that they're pretty ANYWAY. Everyone is beautiful. Period. End of story. No if, ans, buts, stills, or anyways. They just are.

With that being said, part of me was refreshed to actually hear a song cheering on us big girls. In a society that is all about appearances and the need for perfection, it was nice to hear a song that was introducing the idea that perfect doesn't have to be small. Perfect CAN be big and I think that’s what the song was meant to portray. Now, again, seeing the opposite side of things, society’s idea of perfect shouldn't be just big, and it shouldn't just be small. It shouldn't really be anything at all. But reality is, this is the way society works and there is not a darn thing we can do about it except for just accept everything for what it is. You're a big girl with lumps and a cottage cheese butt and all the fun extra skin? Cool. Rock it. Strut it. You're a small boned, fine featured, high metabolismed chick with visible hip bones and collar bones that you can actually see? Great. Own it. You're someone with a little bit of everything mixed around? YOU DO YOU GIRLFRIEND. 

The point is, the song is what it is and I don't think we should go around shaming it for what it is, either. I think we need to step back and look at the big picture. It doesn't matter if you're tall, short, fat, skinny, or in-between; you need to be confident in what you've been given and forget what society says is perfect.  I think we've had our heads stuck up our rears (excuse the expression) for so long that we've forgotten that we are all our own versions of perfect and that’s all we'll ever be. And we need to be satisfied in that. Plain and simple.

End.

Of. 

Rant.

Disclaimer: I still don't understand what she's referring to by 'that bass'. Is it her butt? I don't know this kind of lingo. Typical Gracia.

xoxo,

gp

Them Crazy Indian Juices

Friends. It's been a while. Not much has changed, really.

BUT. I have some pretty exciting news!

Through all of my years of being sick, people had always called us saying 'Oh, I have the perfect cure for you!' or 'This product will heal you!'
It became so constant, we just stopped accepting calls because we decided that it would just be money wasted because it wouldn't work anyway.

Well, this year, we met our deductible in the first week of January. Over the course of 5 or 6 months I was on some really dangerous meds with very dangerous side effects.. they were worth it for a small while, until the bad side effects started to outweigh the bad. So one day, I made the decision that I was going to get off all meds. I just flat out dropped them all. Now, I do not recommend doing this without talking to your doctor first. My mistake. Withdrawal isn't fun.

About a month and a half ago I was getting my hair done and my hairdresser started talking about essential oils. I had heard a little about them before, but hadn't thought much of it, because in my mind it was just another strange 'cure' that was going to get pushed on me and it wouldn't work anyway, right?

After a lot of research and talking with other people, we decided that we've spent more money on on useless drugs that just made me sicker, so why not try it? I mean, it's all natural, could it really do much harm?

With that, I decided on a company, ordered a kit, continued to research it.

This is where the title of this blog entry comes in.. the second I got them, I started using them, defusing them, and trying them on my whole family. It was so much fun! No one really seemed to care, except for my brother. I got a lot of "Get them crazy indian juices away from me!" Typical over-dramatic 16 year old, right?

Let me tell you somethin', folks.

I haven't felt this good in years.

They might not work for everyone, and that's okay. But they work for me. For the first time in 9 years, something has worked. And guess what? No chemicals! The hippie in me is a little too excited over that.

Don't get me wrong, I still have my days where my body is all "not today, girlfriend."
But those days are becoming less and less.

This post isn't to say "oh my goodness you need to buy oils because they are the bee's knees", (well, they really kind of are the bee's knees), but it's to share with you all that they are NOT just crazy indian juices, as Spencer calls them, and that they really can work.

I am so, so very thankful for the Lord's provision and his never ending faithfulness to me. It has been a long road, and the road isn't just going to end, but it's becoming a little easier on me.

Praise God, something works.
Finally.

xoxo,
gp

In Oceans Deep..

Another diagnosis.. yep, it's true.

For the past 3-4 months I have been having some really severe stomach issues and we really didn't have any idea what was going on.

Yesterday morning, we woke up at 5:45 and drove up to Sioux Falls for an Upper Endoscopy.

 

By 8:00 I had an IV in and was getting ready to be put under some pretty heavy sedation.

 

8:30 started the procedure. 

Basically what they did, was once I was out they shoved a camera down my throat and looked around, then took a bunch of biopsies.

When I woke up, they told us two things:

  1) I have Acid Reflux Disease. No big surprise there, as it runs very, very heavily in my dad's family. There is obviously no cure for this, but there's medication to help. Not a big deal.

  2) I have a form of IBS. IBS stands for Irritable Bowel Syndrome. The only thing different from my IBS to normal IBS, is that normal IBS means there's only pain after you eat. My IBS has constant pain. Sounds fun, eh? Mmmmmm, no. The problem with this is, there is no cure and there are only a few meds in which they can use to somewhat control it, but my body is not going to react well to them.

So, I have another diagnosis. It sucks, but at least we know what it is and how to handle it. 

It meant the world to me to have my mom and Dan with my yesterday.. even though I am less than pleasant when waking up from sedation. 

I feel like I am drowning in an ocean of uncertainty and confusion.. But I know I'm not the only one who's feeling that way right now.

So many hugs and prayers going out to my friends and family all across Northwest Iowa, Southeast South dakota, and Northeast Nebraska. 

For those who aren't from the area, the flooding and storms have begun to totally wash away our towns.

Praying that the water would stop rising and people could get their homes back.

Sadly, a lot of people will be going home to destroyed homes. 

I do not know what the Lord's plan is with this all- with my new diagnosis, with the weather destroying our community; but I do know this. We mustn't question His Mighty Plan. Maybe it's just me, but I firmly believe that the Lord can use broken and wretched things to turn us to Him, to open our eyes.

In my new diagnosis, I believe He is using my pain to bring hope.

In our community, I believe He is using dirty river water to help people see that we cannot do things alone; we need EACH OTHER. And most importantly, we need HIM.

Taking reference from Hillsong's 'Oceans', whether in oceans deep, physically or figuratively, we need to call upon HIS name and do what some may think to impossible right now: trust. Trust that He has NEVER failed, so why would He now?

xoxo,

gp

Ohio Adventures

Well, it's been a week since I've been home, so I figured I should probably get this post out in the open.

On Memorial Day, my mom and I set out out on an adventure.
To where?
To Ohio!
Banana mobile & all.
(For those who don't know, I drive an adorable yellow PT Cruiser. Hence, The Banana Mobile. It's like the Bat Mobile. Bana na na na na na na.)

We spent about 10 days with my Uncle Vern, who lives in Cleveland.
We did all sorts of fun things- Art Museum, Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, vintage shops, animal shelter, Amish country, the zoo, and Relay For Life.
Yep.
While I was out there I performed at the Stow-Monroe Falls Relay For Life.

It was such a great experience and I am so thankful I had the opportunity to do it.

Here's a little snippet of one of the songs I did.
I would show more, but all of the other ones were really terrible quality.  This is the best we got.

We got home a week ago, today!

It was wonderful to be away for a while, but let me tell ya somethin'- I sure am glad to be home. 

I really, really missed my kitties, my bed, my brother, and my boyfriend.

The saying, 'Home is where the heart is," sure took on a whole new meaning while I was gone. 

Here are a few more pictures from this year's Ohio adventure!

The art museum was beautiful. 

The Thinker.

One of my favorites.

Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame!

The Glove.

Anybody recognize this?

It's the drum set from Van Halen. :)

Zoo. These camels made my day.

Dem lips.

I couldn't get enough of them! Too funny.

This guy was pretty comical, too. I mean, look at that tongue!

Nom nom nom.

Loved her too.

My grandparents had luminaries at RFL. Note: Their names were murdered. *Van Hofwegen

My get up for that night.

Also while we were there, I sang at The Waterbury Coach House. It's a sweet supper-time place that always has live music. Pictured: Myself, Mom, & Uncle Vern.

I hope you enjoyed looking through my latest adventure!

Until next time~

xoxo,

gp

You're putting a needle.. WHERE?!

Whew.

Folks, it's been a strange week. 

A week of constant doctors.

On Monday, the 19th, I had an appointment with my neurologist up in Sioux Falls. 

We talked about how I've been feeling, about what meds were working and what ones weren't, ya know- the norm. She then told me that she wanted to try a new treatment. Injections. And she wanted it started ASAP.

Okay, so when she said 'injections' I didn't think much of it because hey, we've tried some pretty 'out there' treatment so far.

Friends. When my sweet, little neurologist said that this wasn't a big deal I believed her.

Plot twist: it's a big deal. A REALLY BIG STINKIN' DEAL.

On Tuesday while I was at work, I was on the phone constantly with nurses trying to make this appointment for a day I DIDN'T work this week. Let's just say that was next to impossible.

The ONLY time I was able to do it was at 8:00 AM on Wednesday morning. So, I had to take a day off work. Bleh.

So, Wednesday morning, I walked into the hospital still pretty unsure of what was going to go on. By 8:15 I was talking to the woman I like to call, The Magical Needle Lady. She's pretty neat. Real experienced. Super smart.

Here's kind of the run down of what she was going to do.

In the back of people's heads, theres a fancy little thing called the occipital nerve.

Mine has issues. 

Their plan was to put 2 different kinds of steroids into that nerve to, in a way, 'freeze' the nerve so it would stop acting up and causing my such horrific migraines. 

Here's a little visual of where this is-

See that black dot on the back of the head, where the finger is pointing to?? That's where the needle goes in. 

OKAY. So, pretty chill, right? Wrong. 

Right was I was getting ready to lay down for the procedure, she added a little bit more information. Basically, if the needle slipped just the tiniest bit, or if the needle went in just a LITTLE too far, it would hit this big nerve BEHIND the occipital nerve. And if that needle full of steroids even NICKED that super important nerve, my ability to breathe on my own would stop completely and they would have to give me a breathing tube and fly me to Sioux Falls immediately. She said I wouldn't be able to breathe on my own for at least 3 days.

SO, with that, they laid me down on the bed. This was either going to go great, or I was going to wake up in Sioux Falls with a breathing tube. 

If anyone knows the kind of luck I have, you probably know I was planning on the worse of the two happening. 

But, SURPRISE! I'm alive and I am breathing. 

Let me tell you, that sure was a painful procedure, though. Holy buckets.

The rest of the day, I slept and iced the back of my head.

I got a visit from two of my favorite ladies yesterday, plus some pretty flowers. Definitely lifted my spirits. 

So, other than feeling like I got hit in the back of the head with a baseball bat, I'm doing pretty well.

I met with my family doctor again super early this morning to talk about the stomach issues I've been having. We tried going gluten free for a while thinking that was the issue, but we were wrong. Basically, I just can't eat anything without getting super sick. He is referring me to a GI doctor, and hopefully we can figure out what's going on there, too. 

It's just one thing after another, it seems.

As my neurologist keeps saying, 'You have too much going on for an 18 year old. This is not okay.'

Amen, Dr. Jaisani. Amen.

But, I am alive. I am happy. I have an incredible family. I have a sweet, caring boyfriend. I have a never ending support system of friends. My body is just failing me. And that's okay. 

Continually thanking the Lord for His never ending faithfulness to me. He is so great.

xoxo, 

gp

The Sister I Didn't Know I Needed

If you've talked to me in the passed 9 months, you've more than likely heard me refer to 'my sister, Lexi'.
I'm here now to explain what I mean when I say that.

Late August 2013, at the annual Lifelight music festival, a girl named Lexi had showed up at my camper with a few of her friends. We had quite a few mutual friends and she had just gone threw a TEC weekend a few weeks beforehand. Some how over the weekend, we bonded. We just clicked. That was the weekend the Lord gave me something that I didn't know I needed.

We almost immediately started referring to each other as sisters- it just felt right.

Here's the thing about Lexi;
She's funny. Not the 'I'm trying really hard to make you laugh' funny, but just naturally funny.

She's kind & she speaks truth. She sees hurting people and wants to help them, it's instinct; but she's willing to call out who needs to be called out.

She's smart. Pretty sure she has more common sense than most adults.

She's beautiful. She doesn't even have to try, she just is- in her simple little way.

She has a soft heart. She feels so deeply. (sometimes too deeply, lol). But most importantly, she feel's for other people and that's something I admire about her.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that God gave me something I didn't know I needed- a little sister. Someone to constantly make me watch what I do, watch what I say, because I know she's there looking up to me. She calls me out when I'm out of line and we cry and have pity parties together when we don't feel well. It's great, really.

AND GUESS WHAT TODAY IS.
Today is Lexi's 16th birthday.

Lexi, if you're reading this, I am so proud of you and all that you've accomplished this past year. I've seen you blossom into the most beautiful young woman of God and I can't wait to watch you grow more and more. Thank you for being the sister I didn't know I needed. Happy birthday. I love you.

xoxo,
gp

So This Is It?

So, this is adult life, huh?

Work.
Internship.
Waking up early, whether you feel like it or not.
Cleaning the house on your nights off.
Scheduling your life around when the washing machine is finished.
Living paycheck to paycheck.
Communicating over email more than actually texting someone.

This morning my mom asked me what I was going to do tonight, since I have nothing going on. My response? "Oh, I think I'll mop the floors and and dust. Then I'll start supper."

That's when it hit me. Sweet great balls of fire; I'm an adult.

Now that this realization has just hit me at full force, I'm really not sure what to think.
Is this what I though my life would be at age 18? No, sir. Not at all. Not in the nearest way, actually.

But am I upset about it? Not really. I mean, I don't think I know of another 18 year old that's doing what I'm doing, but I'm okay with it.

Ya know, the more I think about it, I'm really thankful for where I'm at it life. I'm learning SO much.

I have a job I love; my co workers are like family.
My internship is the best thing that's every happened to me.
Waking up early is really good for me- I get alone time with the Lord.
A clean house is better than a dirty one, right?
We all need clean laundry, I mean commoooonnn.
Living paycheck to paycheck is teaching me to really watch how I spend my money and challenging me to ask the question, "Do I really need this?"
and Emailing over texting.. well, I'm really bad at texting. So that's just whatever.


I feel like the Lord is just really using this season in my life to prepare me for bigger and better things- I basically skipped over the typical teenager years and was dropped into adult life. I mean, you can't tell me the Lord lead me though this all and didn't have this giant, incredible plan for my life; right?

He's such a cool guy, isn't He?
:)


Until next time~

xoxo,
gp