Catching up!

Good golly, it's been a while.

We have come catching up to do!
The last 4 weeks have been filled with so many abundant blessings. I completed my GED, got the privilege to lead a TEC weekend one some of my favorite partners-in-crime (Eth & Lish), and I got a job at Hiemstra Lawn Care in Orange City as their new office assistant.
Guys, the Lord is SO GOOD. He has been showing His faithfulness more and more every second of every day and my heart is simply awestruck.

Throughout this I've gotten a few comments such as, "Wow, you're growing up a little fast, don't ya think?" or "You just turned 18; you're too young of all of this!!"

Here's what I have to say that~

Friends, as many of you know I had to drop out of school when I was simply a sophomore in high school because of illness. I have had to and still have to suffer with knowing that I will never get to be cheering on those stands on chilly Friday nights, with knowing I will never get to go to prom with my friends, with knowing I will never get to walk across the stage to graduate with my classmates. Here's the thing; I had to grow up at a young age. I had no choice- I had to.

For years I always wished that if even for a moment, I wanted to experience a 'normal' highschool life, if only for a few hours. Last year, the Lord gifted me with a mere glimpse of what it could have been like. February 2013-July 2013 I was sent 3 very special people that, all in their own special little ways, gave me that glimpse of what a 'normal' high-school life would have been like and boy oh boy, it was great. I will never be able to thank them enough for that. As much as I didn't want it to end, those special people couldn't stick around forever. Eventually they had to go out and live their lives, too.

Slowly, my life went back to simply being 'the sick girl', and for the first time in my life, I was okay with it. You see, God gave me this glimpse of what it could have been like and that was great, but then He took me back to reality and I had to sit myself down and realize the beauty in the messed up, rollercoaster of a life that He has given me.

So, friends, yes, I agree. Maybe I am growing up, but take time to realize that this isn't a new concept to me. I am now not living an 'abnormal teenage life' anymore; I am living an 'abnormal adult life'. And that is perfectly okay with me.
I have been given a tough life to live, but I also have been given the Ultimate Healer. I may not ever be healed of these illnesses and they may hold me back from living what some say to be a normal adult life, but every day I'm watching and feeling the King of Kings heal my heart from pain of this life.


xoxo,
g.p.

So I guess I'm an adult now.

Adulthood.
So far, I have a love/hate relationship with it.

I am only a few days into being 18 and so far my life has consisted of angry courthouse visits, ridiculously long tests, too many dishes, an abundance of dirty laundry, and painful migraines. Icky, icky, icky.

But, aside from all of this ickiness, I have been quite blessed the past few days, too. I received countless emails, texts, facetime calls, phone calls, visits, and facebook & twitter posts wishing me a happy birthday from all over the world.

Thank you all for blessing me despite an icky day.

I also got some goodies. Goodies that I am over-the-moon-excited about.

Grandma Tracy made me a birthday pie. Notice, no cake. I don't like cake. Rhubarb fluff pie was much better.

Uncle Vern's gift was so great. I fell in love with this beautiful spoon cookbook/book/plate/everything stand while we were down in Kansas City a couple months ago. Opening up that package, I would have never guessed this little treasure was hidden inside. I am so excited about it! And as many of you know, spoons hold a very special place in my heart. So thankful for such a thoughtful uncle.


Also not pictured; my incredible, overly generous brother, Spencer, bought me all 10 seasons of my favorite show, Friends. And my sweet, caring, adopted sister, Lexi, has gotten me something but refuses to tell me what it is. I am currently learning patience. I don't like being patient. Bleh.


Overall, I am in awe of the blessings that continue to be showered upon me. Thanks, guys. You da best.

Dr. Jaisani & The Lord's Faithfulness

I have seen these doctor's offices much too often. 

Yesterday, Friday, November 8, I sat in a new doctor's office once again. 

As many of you know, I have had a less than desirable experience with doctors. Some don't believe I am sick, some just don't know what POTS even is. My family doctor just recently referred me to a new Neurologist up at Sanford.

Terrified, I sat in that office yesterday, scared that this appointment would be like all of the ones prior to this.

The nurse came in, asked the usual questions, took my blood pressure, etc. Ya know, the whole run down.

After about 10 minutes, in walked in a sweet little woman named Dr. Zeenat Jaisani, (try saying that 5 times fast!), and her unusually tall medical student guy. They both shook my mom and I's hand, sat down, and unlike my past appointments, Dr. Jaisani actually looked happy to be there; she looked eager to to see me. This, my friends, was a first.

Long story short, Dr. Jaisani is the best doctor I have ever been to. Here's a few reasons why:

     1) She knew what POTS was. Like, for the first time, I never had to educate the doctor; I could just be             the patient. She already knew everything she needed to know. It was so stinkin' cool.

     2) She wants to do everything she can to get me better. First doctor to every say that.

     3) She looked at me straight in the eyes and said, "There is hope." Oh my goodness.  Remember the first             part of the verse on my new tattoo? 'As for me, I will always have hope...' Hokey smokes.                           GOOSEBUMPS. 

After talking for a while, she came up with a treatment plan for me. This treatment first consists of a multitude of tests, including: lots and lots of blood tests, MRI, MRV, a sleep study, and a 3 day hospital stay up at Sanford to measure my brain waves and brain activity. I am also starting on 5 new medications. Now, as some of you know my body doesn't react well to medications. Dr. Jaisani knows this, but these are medications I have never tried and she wants to see how I react to these first. If the medications just aren't cuttin' it for me, I have other options, such as a spinal tap and a few other things. 

Like she said, this is not going to be a fast process. Slowly, but surely, she thinks this plan is really going to work for me.

Friends, I cannot express the the gratitude in my heart. The Lord's faithfulness is ever true and was made even more evident yesterday. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about how long we've prayed for a doctor that would actually care enough to see past my 'non-sick-looking' exterior and see the pain and suffering I've endured the past 8 years. 

GOD IS JUST SO GOOD, PEOPLE.

There is a long road ahead of me on this new journey but I know The Lord's loving hand will guide me every step of the way. 

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, 

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is Your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

xoxo

My Newest & Most Precious Tattoo

Hey folks. Take a look. A reaaaaaal good look. 

Everyone has some story or meaning behind every tattoo for the most part. My other tattoos are very near and dear to my heart, but this by-far is the most precious. Why you may ask? I'll tell you.

Well, as many of you know, I've been sick for quite some time now. In this time I have learned many things. I learned who my true friends are. I learned to appreciate the little victories. I learned and I felt true agony. I also learned how great our Lord is. I learned so many things. But the most important thing I learned?

Hope.

I learned hope.

During countless tears and late nights where I didn't know if I could endure the pain any longer, the only thing that remained was hope. In the middle of endless doctors appointments and hospital stays, the only thing I had left to cling to was hope. Hope, that the Lord might bless not only myself, but others though this. Hope, that maybe someday, there will be a cure. Hope, so that I may carry on.

Still to this day, that is what I cling to. And I will continue to praise Him more and more every single day; whether I'm in excruciating pain or not.

Well, there you have it.
I hope you love my new addition just as much as I do.

xoxo

6 hours a day. 7 days a week. For the past two months.

6 hours a day. 7 days a week. For the past two months.

Studying. That's what I've been doing with my life.

For 6 hours a day. 7 days a week. For the past two months.

As many of you know, I've been out of school since the middle of my sophomore year of high school because of my many chronic illnesses. Online classes weren't working for me so I've basically been school-less since then. This year I began the process to get my GED.

September 3 of this year I had my very first class. Classes are every Tuesday and Thursday from 1-3 at NCC in Sheldon. Completion of the GED consists of 11 tests. The first is the entry test, which is taken before starting any classes. This basically tests you to see how smart you are. The next 5 tests are the pre-tests. The pre-tests are in 5 subjects: Writing, Reading, Mathematics, Science, and Social Studies. These can only be completed after 40 hours of class time. After completion of the pre-tests, the 5 finals can begin. One must score at least 500 on each of the final tests to complete the GED program.

Before I started this I was told the GED is easy- junior high type stuff.

Lemme tall ya somethin', folks.
It's far, far away from anything junior high.
It's actually far from anything even high school level.

This is college stuff. And it is tough. Reaaaaaaal tough. And to pass all of those tests it's requiring me to study 6 hours a day. 7 days a week. For the past two months.

Friends, my brain is fried. Absolutely charred. But I am thankful. I am excited.

I will hopefully, God willing, be finished with my GED by Christmas, at the latest. I am almost finished with all of my pre-tests and I will be starting my final tests soon.

Continued thoughts and prayers are appreciated!


xoxo

Happiness.

"What makes you happy?"

I've been asked that question quite a bit. 

And quite often my answer is, 'I dunno, stuff.'

A few days ago I finally sat myself down and said, 'Alright Graish, you need to figure out what makes you happy.' In making this list I found that I tend to 'like' many things, but not a lot of things make me genuinely happy. I think that finding happiness in something is much more than just 'liking' something, but it is your heart finding absolute joy, complete bliss, pure jubilation.  

Here is my list of things that make my heart happy:

1) Flowers. 

As being the daughter of a florist of 12 years, I have learned to see the beauty and simplicity of flowers.

2) Antique shops/thrift stores.  

I may or may not have an obsession. 

3) Hugs. 

Being that my love language is touch, hugs are very special to me. 

4) Organization. 
Many of you know how terrible OCD I am. When all of my DVD's have been alphabetized, it's been a good day.

5) The Humane Society. 
Oh, my love for this organization is strong. I am a lover of all things animals. Kitties, puppies, all of it. Makes me heart melt.

6) Clean sheets.
Pretty sure I'm not the only one. Gotta love that crisp'n'cool feeling. 

7) Tea time with Jesus. 
Taking a little time out of the day to sit down and dig into scripture with a cup of tea is probably my favorite moment of each day.

8) Tattoos.
Already having 3, and with more to come, I've gotta say looking down and seeing such sweet memories and reminders on my skin daily is a fantastic feeling.

9) Books. 
My, oh my. My mom's love for books definitely traveled into my blood stream. I cannot count the amount of books that I own and I hope I never do. Really, though. It's scary. Books on books on books.

Now, let me ask you, what truly makes you happy?

xoxo

We're going on an adventure!

Alright friends.
Here we go.
I have started a new blog and I actually intend to use it this time. I hope.

Why, you may ask, am I doing this?
So I can stop hearing "Wow Graish, you have so much going on and I never hear about any of it. You never post anything online!"

Well here ya go.

So join me, friends, on the journey through my not-so-average, not-so-ordinary, hectic life.


xoxo