In Oceans Deep..

Another diagnosis.. yep, it's true.

For the past 3-4 months I have been having some really severe stomach issues and we really didn't have any idea what was going on.

Yesterday morning, we woke up at 5:45 and drove up to Sioux Falls for an Upper Endoscopy.

 

By 8:00 I had an IV in and was getting ready to be put under some pretty heavy sedation.

 

8:30 started the procedure. 

Basically what they did, was once I was out they shoved a camera down my throat and looked around, then took a bunch of biopsies.

When I woke up, they told us two things:

  1) I have Acid Reflux Disease. No big surprise there, as it runs very, very heavily in my dad's family. There is obviously no cure for this, but there's medication to help. Not a big deal.

  2) I have a form of IBS. IBS stands for Irritable Bowel Syndrome. The only thing different from my IBS to normal IBS, is that normal IBS means there's only pain after you eat. My IBS has constant pain. Sounds fun, eh? Mmmmmm, no. The problem with this is, there is no cure and there are only a few meds in which they can use to somewhat control it, but my body is not going to react well to them.

So, I have another diagnosis. It sucks, but at least we know what it is and how to handle it. 

It meant the world to me to have my mom and Dan with my yesterday.. even though I am less than pleasant when waking up from sedation. 

I feel like I am drowning in an ocean of uncertainty and confusion.. But I know I'm not the only one who's feeling that way right now.

So many hugs and prayers going out to my friends and family all across Northwest Iowa, Southeast South dakota, and Northeast Nebraska. 

For those who aren't from the area, the flooding and storms have begun to totally wash away our towns.

Praying that the water would stop rising and people could get their homes back.

Sadly, a lot of people will be going home to destroyed homes. 

I do not know what the Lord's plan is with this all- with my new diagnosis, with the weather destroying our community; but I do know this. We mustn't question His Mighty Plan. Maybe it's just me, but I firmly believe that the Lord can use broken and wretched things to turn us to Him, to open our eyes.

In my new diagnosis, I believe He is using my pain to bring hope.

In our community, I believe He is using dirty river water to help people see that we cannot do things alone; we need EACH OTHER. And most importantly, we need HIM.

Taking reference from Hillsong's 'Oceans', whether in oceans deep, physically or figuratively, we need to call upon HIS name and do what some may think to impossible right now: trust. Trust that He has NEVER failed, so why would He now?

xoxo,

gp

Ohio Adventures

Well, it's been a week since I've been home, so I figured I should probably get this post out in the open.

On Memorial Day, my mom and I set out out on an adventure.
To where?
To Ohio!
Banana mobile & all.
(For those who don't know, I drive an adorable yellow PT Cruiser. Hence, The Banana Mobile. It's like the Bat Mobile. Bana na na na na na na.)

We spent about 10 days with my Uncle Vern, who lives in Cleveland.
We did all sorts of fun things- Art Museum, Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, vintage shops, animal shelter, Amish country, the zoo, and Relay For Life.
Yep.
While I was out there I performed at the Stow-Monroe Falls Relay For Life.

It was such a great experience and I am so thankful I had the opportunity to do it.

Here's a little snippet of one of the songs I did.
I would show more, but all of the other ones were really terrible quality.  This is the best we got.

We got home a week ago, today!

It was wonderful to be away for a while, but let me tell ya somethin'- I sure am glad to be home. 

I really, really missed my kitties, my bed, my brother, and my boyfriend.

The saying, 'Home is where the heart is," sure took on a whole new meaning while I was gone. 

Here are a few more pictures from this year's Ohio adventure!

The art museum was beautiful. 

The Thinker.

One of my favorites.

Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame!

The Glove.

Anybody recognize this?

It's the drum set from Van Halen. :)

Zoo. These camels made my day.

Dem lips.

I couldn't get enough of them! Too funny.

This guy was pretty comical, too. I mean, look at that tongue!

Nom nom nom.

Loved her too.

My grandparents had luminaries at RFL. Note: Their names were murdered. *Van Hofwegen

My get up for that night.

Also while we were there, I sang at The Waterbury Coach House. It's a sweet supper-time place that always has live music. Pictured: Myself, Mom, & Uncle Vern.

I hope you enjoyed looking through my latest adventure!

Until next time~

xoxo,

gp

You're putting a needle.. WHERE?!

Whew.

Folks, it's been a strange week. 

A week of constant doctors.

On Monday, the 19th, I had an appointment with my neurologist up in Sioux Falls. 

We talked about how I've been feeling, about what meds were working and what ones weren't, ya know- the norm. She then told me that she wanted to try a new treatment. Injections. And she wanted it started ASAP.

Okay, so when she said 'injections' I didn't think much of it because hey, we've tried some pretty 'out there' treatment so far.

Friends. When my sweet, little neurologist said that this wasn't a big deal I believed her.

Plot twist: it's a big deal. A REALLY BIG STINKIN' DEAL.

On Tuesday while I was at work, I was on the phone constantly with nurses trying to make this appointment for a day I DIDN'T work this week. Let's just say that was next to impossible.

The ONLY time I was able to do it was at 8:00 AM on Wednesday morning. So, I had to take a day off work. Bleh.

So, Wednesday morning, I walked into the hospital still pretty unsure of what was going to go on. By 8:15 I was talking to the woman I like to call, The Magical Needle Lady. She's pretty neat. Real experienced. Super smart.

Here's kind of the run down of what she was going to do.

In the back of people's heads, theres a fancy little thing called the occipital nerve.

Mine has issues. 

Their plan was to put 2 different kinds of steroids into that nerve to, in a way, 'freeze' the nerve so it would stop acting up and causing my such horrific migraines. 

Here's a little visual of where this is-

See that black dot on the back of the head, where the finger is pointing to?? That's where the needle goes in. 

OKAY. So, pretty chill, right? Wrong. 

Right was I was getting ready to lay down for the procedure, she added a little bit more information. Basically, if the needle slipped just the tiniest bit, or if the needle went in just a LITTLE too far, it would hit this big nerve BEHIND the occipital nerve. And if that needle full of steroids even NICKED that super important nerve, my ability to breathe on my own would stop completely and they would have to give me a breathing tube and fly me to Sioux Falls immediately. She said I wouldn't be able to breathe on my own for at least 3 days.

SO, with that, they laid me down on the bed. This was either going to go great, or I was going to wake up in Sioux Falls with a breathing tube. 

If anyone knows the kind of luck I have, you probably know I was planning on the worse of the two happening. 

But, SURPRISE! I'm alive and I am breathing. 

Let me tell you, that sure was a painful procedure, though. Holy buckets.

The rest of the day, I slept and iced the back of my head.

I got a visit from two of my favorite ladies yesterday, plus some pretty flowers. Definitely lifted my spirits. 

So, other than feeling like I got hit in the back of the head with a baseball bat, I'm doing pretty well.

I met with my family doctor again super early this morning to talk about the stomach issues I've been having. We tried going gluten free for a while thinking that was the issue, but we were wrong. Basically, I just can't eat anything without getting super sick. He is referring me to a GI doctor, and hopefully we can figure out what's going on there, too. 

It's just one thing after another, it seems.

As my neurologist keeps saying, 'You have too much going on for an 18 year old. This is not okay.'

Amen, Dr. Jaisani. Amen.

But, I am alive. I am happy. I have an incredible family. I have a sweet, caring boyfriend. I have a never ending support system of friends. My body is just failing me. And that's okay. 

Continually thanking the Lord for His never ending faithfulness to me. He is so great.

xoxo, 

gp

The Sister I Didn't Know I Needed

If you've talked to me in the passed 9 months, you've more than likely heard me refer to 'my sister, Lexi'.
I'm here now to explain what I mean when I say that.

Late August 2013, at the annual Lifelight music festival, a girl named Lexi had showed up at my camper with a few of her friends. We had quite a few mutual friends and she had just gone threw a TEC weekend a few weeks beforehand. Some how over the weekend, we bonded. We just clicked. That was the weekend the Lord gave me something that I didn't know I needed.

We almost immediately started referring to each other as sisters- it just felt right.

Here's the thing about Lexi;
She's funny. Not the 'I'm trying really hard to make you laugh' funny, but just naturally funny.

She's kind & she speaks truth. She sees hurting people and wants to help them, it's instinct; but she's willing to call out who needs to be called out.

She's smart. Pretty sure she has more common sense than most adults.

She's beautiful. She doesn't even have to try, she just is- in her simple little way.

She has a soft heart. She feels so deeply. (sometimes too deeply, lol). But most importantly, she feel's for other people and that's something I admire about her.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that God gave me something I didn't know I needed- a little sister. Someone to constantly make me watch what I do, watch what I say, because I know she's there looking up to me. She calls me out when I'm out of line and we cry and have pity parties together when we don't feel well. It's great, really.

AND GUESS WHAT TODAY IS.
Today is Lexi's 16th birthday.

Lexi, if you're reading this, I am so proud of you and all that you've accomplished this past year. I've seen you blossom into the most beautiful young woman of God and I can't wait to watch you grow more and more. Thank you for being the sister I didn't know I needed. Happy birthday. I love you.

xoxo,
gp

So This Is It?

So, this is adult life, huh?

Work.
Internship.
Waking up early, whether you feel like it or not.
Cleaning the house on your nights off.
Scheduling your life around when the washing machine is finished.
Living paycheck to paycheck.
Communicating over email more than actually texting someone.

This morning my mom asked me what I was going to do tonight, since I have nothing going on. My response? "Oh, I think I'll mop the floors and and dust. Then I'll start supper."

That's when it hit me. Sweet great balls of fire; I'm an adult.

Now that this realization has just hit me at full force, I'm really not sure what to think.
Is this what I though my life would be at age 18? No, sir. Not at all. Not in the nearest way, actually.

But am I upset about it? Not really. I mean, I don't think I know of another 18 year old that's doing what I'm doing, but I'm okay with it.

Ya know, the more I think about it, I'm really thankful for where I'm at it life. I'm learning SO much.

I have a job I love; my co workers are like family.
My internship is the best thing that's every happened to me.
Waking up early is really good for me- I get alone time with the Lord.
A clean house is better than a dirty one, right?
We all need clean laundry, I mean commoooonnn.
Living paycheck to paycheck is teaching me to really watch how I spend my money and challenging me to ask the question, "Do I really need this?"
and Emailing over texting.. well, I'm really bad at texting. So that's just whatever.


I feel like the Lord is just really using this season in my life to prepare me for bigger and better things- I basically skipped over the typical teenager years and was dropped into adult life. I mean, you can't tell me the Lord lead me though this all and didn't have this giant, incredible plan for my life; right?

He's such a cool guy, isn't He?
:)


Until next time~

xoxo,
gp

This New Season.

uhmmmmmm HI GUYS.

It's been way too long.
Life has been BUSY BUSY BUSY!

My internship is taking up a lot of my time but I'm totally okay with it. We have to put in at least 10 hours a week with all of our designated tasks. It's only a month and a half into it, but I'm loving it so much. I have not only learned so many things about myself, but about others! Especially the fantastic girls that are doing the internship, too.

Life has also been busy with work, leading worship here and there, leading 1 Bible study & being in 2, and moving.

Yes, we're STILL MOVING. Have I ever told you how much moving sucks? Because it does.

We also welcomed two new little babies into our family! Malibu and Merlot. They're the most adorable kittens ever. I love their ferocious little meows & sweet little whiskers. I hate their nasty little kitten claws & their need to wake me up at every hour of the night with those nasty claws.

Oh! How could I forget?! Health update:
I received a spinal tap on Thursday, February 6. Although the procedure wasn't near as bad as I had anticipated, the recovery was terrible. Eventually I felt quite a bit of relief. Like, more relief than I've had in a long time. It was really great! On a scale from 1-10, my pain has been at a 10 or higher for years. Every. Single. Day. But suddenly, it was at a 6 or 7. Until one day, I woke and the pain & pressure was back. I immediately emailed my doctor & her nurse. The next day they called saying that since I received so much relief from the spinal tap, they were going to put me on a new medication. This new med is sketchy, but pretty cool. Basically what it's going to do is decrease my cerebral spinal fluid production. The only downside is that I have to drink at least 12 times the amount of water than I normally do. And what does that mean? It means that I pee about 5 times per hour, at least. But hey, I'm feeling really good so that's all that matters. I still have my days where I'm really dragging & not able to function, but I'm getting better. Things are looking up. PRAISE DA LAWD. But really. Thanks, Jesus.

This new season of life has been a hectic one, but I love it. It's a time of new beginnings. It's a time for laughter. It's a time for happiness.

Finally.

xoxo,
gp

Not bad news. Not great news. Just moving to the next step.

Fwiends.
I have so much to tell you all.
I mean, it's only been like a week since my last post, but a lot can happen in a week.

Well, my health has gotten really bad again. my body has gone into complete rejection mode and its awful and painful. It's been really rough.

My doctor appointment to talk about all the tests I went through was originally scheduled on February 14, but earlier this month they called and asked to move it up. So yesterday, January 28, my mom and I headed up to Sioux Falls once more to get me some answers.

Now friends, the anxiety that filled us was unsettling.
We were preparing ourselves to hear one of two things; the first being that they couldn't see anything and that they wouldn't know what to do for me. Second being that there was something actually seriously wrong, but that there was a name to it and that there was a treatment.

In my mind, I had prepared myself for things as bad as cancer. Because at this point, it would at least be SOMETHING- some sort of explanation, right? I had decided I would rather it be something bad, with a name, with a treatment, than to have them tell me they were clueless. But either way, whatever the outcome, I just wanted to be able to better His kingdom.

Like I said before, we were prepared for both answers, but we didn't get either of them.

That's right. neither of them.

So what did I find out?

Well, my EEG showed signs of NO seizures! WOOT WOOT! That way I get to keep my license. PRAISE THE LORD!!
But it did show that I, obviously, have POTS. No big surprise there. I was also diagnosed with severe insomnia. Again, no big surprise.

Second, since I don't react well to almost all medication, we're trying something new.

I am starting regular infusions. What this means is that they're giving me a big ol' cocktail (mix of lots of drugs) and giving it to me through a 4 hour long IV.
I got my first big infusion today.
It was interesting, to say the least. I don't feel a ton of relief from it yet, but my nurse told me that it usually takes a little bit to take full effect.

THIRD OF ALL, I'm getting a spinal tap.
*insert cringe here*

I, being the incredibly intelligent person that I am, decided to YouTube exactly what a spinal tap was a while back.
Worst. Decision. Ever.
I really don't have an issue with needles at all but it really was probably not one of my best ideas to watch that.
Anyhoo, I will be undergoing that in the near future, also.
They want to see how much pressure is around my brain, and in the process, hopefully release some of that pressure through the spinal tap.

My doctor also has decided that if my infusions still aren't ridding me of the severe migraine I've had for at least 5 years straight, the next step would be to do injections into the base of my skull. Sounds like fun, huh?

So.. yeah!

Not bad news.
Not great news.
Just moving to the next step.

Still praising the Lord for His provision and gift of friends to love on me and pray with me through this all.

In other news, my family, along with myself, just came down with a really nasty cold. Ick.
ALSO, we close on out new house this upcoming Friday. WOOT WOOT. Yay for new beginnings.

Again, lots of prayers needed for the upcoming months with my health and my family's transitions into new seasons of life.


xoxo,
g.p.