Surrendering Control, Humility, & Ugly Crying

Guys, I am an ugly crier. My face gets all red, my lips and eyes swell to the size of Texas, my nose gets sniffly. It's not cute. It's exhausting. I've always envied the gals in the movies at somehow look glamorous while crying. Seriously, what kind of sorcery is that?! 

Over the years, I have worked hard at making my breakdowns few. When they do happen, I've always made sure that it happened in private. Alone, by myself; for no one to see my face turn into a misshapen, wet tomato. 

In my transition to life in LeMars and Side By Side Ministries, my comfort zone has been stretched beyond what I can even begin to fathom. Guys, it hasn't even been three weeks yet. And guess what? I have cried every. single. day. Even better? These episodes have almost always happened in front of people. My tears have been a mash-up of frustration induced sobbing, what-the-heck-have-I-gotten-myself-into weeping, loss of control grieving, humility boo-hoo's, and of course, joy-filled and awe-struck bawling. 

For so many years I have been the go-to-gal when it came to ministries I worked with. I've always been the one with all of the answers and the one who knew what was going on. I built myself a pretty high pedestal and named it 'leadership'. My 'leadership qualities' consisted of organization, control, and bossiness. For a long time I've been pretty hung on my own self; worrying about MY time, MY life, MY job, and MY way of doing things. But who was I to believe I was so great? On my first day down here I had a pretty big reality check. I needed a real big piece of humble pie. It was time for me to step down, confess to my confusion, speak with nothing but kindness, surrender control, and admit that maybe, just maybe, I don't know everything. 

Like I said, folks. It hasn't even been three weeks. The Lord has done more changing in my heart in less than a month than I thought would be possible in even a year's time. This journey has proven to be really tough so far, and I know this is just the beginning. It is lonely and challenging, but it is incredible. I am so beautifully in over my head and I wouldn't change it for the world. Ugly-crying and all.

Post Family Vacation [part 1]

Ah, the Post family vacation. One of the most dreaded and most anticipated things of each year. Let's just say that my family gives a whole new meaning to the word 'high-strung' and 'sassy'. I love them, nonetheless. This year, we took along someone new! My best friend, Grace, tagged along. Thank God, otherwise my brother and I would have strangled each other by now.

It has been quite the experience so far, and I cant wait to see what this upcoming weekend brings us. Here is a little bit of a recap of what the first few days have looked like so far.

Cya later, Sioux Center!

We drove and drove and drove. Then we drove some more.

On the first night we stayed in a cute little mom & pop motel. It wasn't bad, except for the shower. I never knew water could go from blister-your-skin-hot to antarctica-cold in .25 seconds. Ugh.

We took the scenic route on the way to Yellowstone and came across this beauty.

I have never been to this part of the country before, so seeing all of this left me absolutely awe-struck. 

Pictures can't do it justice!

This was called the 'Post Creek'. We figured we best go explore since we share the same namesake. 

This is the first time in about a year Spencer has taken a picture with me. Oh, 17 year olds.

Sunflower fields and mountains. Does it get any better than that?

Love, love, love it here!

We all love water, so we stopped by it whenever we could.

Spencer went on an adventure.

So glad she's along!

WE NEVER WANT TO LEAVE.

Imagine waking up to this view..

Of course, we can't go without stopping for coffee.

Yellowstone Lake. Such beauty.

Can we appreciate Spencer's legs here for a moment? Gotta love that construction worker tan line. 

throwing rocks = splashing = WET.

Breathtaking.

And finally, Old Faithful!

 Follow my Instagram (link to the right) to keep up with our trip!

xoxo,
gp

Life Update, August 2015

An important update for you all..

Some of you know that back in April I joined the staff at HOME (House Of Missions & Equipping). I have loved every minute of being part of this team and it has grown me in more ways than I can count in a short amount of time.

If you've read my most recent post (check it out here), you know that for about a year now I have been waiting for direction as to where the Lord has been leading me. My life has been a storm cloud of unknown.. but He knows my unknown.  And He has recently made that even more evident.

After much prayer and consideration, I have decided to accept a position at Side By Side Ministries down in LeMars, IA. This means I will be moving down there and working full-time in their Ambassadors Program. This is a really scary move for me, as this is my first time moving out on my own. I have never been one to handle change well, but my heart has a really beautiful sense of peace surrounding this transition.

HOME has been and always will be where God first began to build my heart for prayer and worship, and I hope to be back one day; but for now, I need to follow where He is leading me.

I move early this month (!!!), and as each day comes closer, my anticipation rises. I am ready for this change and am mindful of all the challenges that it may bring. 

Thank you for those who have encouraged me so far! You are a blessing.

Until next time...
xoxo,
gp

He Knows

   Yesterday someone sat me down and asked me the following questions: 'What are your life goals? Where do you want to be in 5 years; in 10 years?' I sat there for a bit trying to process this. I was then forced to come to the realization that I had been avoiding for a year now. 'I don't know,' I sheepishly responded, 'I just don't know.'

   For about a year now I have wandering. I have been searching. For what, I am not even totally sure of. I have been running from all questions; my own and other's. Perhaps I am looking for myself, and searching for the pieces that make me whole. Maybe I'm just scared of the unknown. Some have said I just have restless, roaming spirit and I will always be running. Maybe I'm just never supposed to stay put. I don't know.

   The words 'I don't know' have beeing constant on my lips. I don't know what my life goals are. I don't know what is in store for my next 10 minutes, let alone my next year or more. I don't have any answers or beautiful, eloquent words of advice. My life is a big storm cloud of unknown.

   But, there is one thing I DO know. He does. He knows. He knows why I feel stuck. He knows what I have spent so long looking for. He knows what my heart yearns for. He knows the year of sleepless nights. He knows where I'm going. He knows my broken pieces. He knows my secret place, He knows my dark place. He knows my unknown. He knows me. He is my peace. He my Sunshine.

xoxo,
gp

The Adventures of Grace & Gracia

My best friend Grace and I are known for our stories, adventures, and for the ridiculous things we get ourselves into. I figured I would give you all a front row seat to our antics. If you are a return reader, you more than likely know lots about me, but you should probably know Grace a little better before we start. Without any further adieu, meet Grace.

Grace is one of those people that flies by the seat of her pants and runs on her own schedule; at all times. She is quite messy and definitely NOT a morning person. (It's ridiculous, really.) On the up side, she's the smartest person I know. She is a triple major in Psychology, Sociology, and Social Science at University of Sioux Falls. She can basically read your mind. Not really, but almost. Not only the smartest person I know, but the strongest. We call her a she-hulk. She can beat about anyone in arm wrestling- seriously. She is a wonderful Auntie to 2 nieces, 5 nephews, and 2 on the way. She loves Diet Mountain Dew, beef jerky, laughing, and cozy blankets. Most importantly, she loves Jesus with every fiber of her being. Her faith is unshakable and she is just all-around a beautiful person. 

Stay tuned for The Adventures of Grace & Gracia.

Style Confused

I have a confession. A very embarrassing confession.

I used to be one of those gals. The kind what you would never see wearing the same outfit more than once, never left the house without a perfectly painted face, and would not be caught dead in sweatpants.

And now, thank the Lord, those days are over.

For a long time now, I have been style confused. Yes, that's right. Style confused. Meaning that my style has made a complete 180 degree turn more times than I can count. My wardrobe has been constantly evolving and transforming, leaving me with a closet stuffed full of 18,253,000 different kinds of clothes.

About 5 months ago I got really, really fed up with a closet overflowing with clothes I absolutely hated wearing. I mean, seriously. I still had tanktops from 7th grade, sparkly shirts from my freshman year of high school, and shoes coming out of my ears.

Well, that, and.. I recently lost a significant amount of weight and nothing fit me the way I wanted it to.

I've tried Stitch Fix, online personal stylists, all of it. And nothing has ever really worked for me.

About that same time, this 'capsule wardrobe' thing became really big. My friend and mentor, Liza, started doing it and even featured it on her own blog. I began finding more articles on it; I researched this thing upside down and backwards. I soon realized it's almost exactly how my mom has been dressing for years: mix & match layers.

I figured I've made worse decisions concerning how I dress, so this couldn't be the end of the world. I began by spending countless hours going through my infamous closet. I found myself looking at things and saying things like, 'I actually really hate this shirt and the tags are still on it. Why did I even buy it?', or 'Do I really need 8 different grey v-necks? Probably not.'

By the end, I was left with about 1/8 of what my closet was originally. Let me tell you something; it was so stinkin' freeing knowing that I didn't have endless amounts of clothes that I didn't even like just hanging there staring me right in the face.

Then, I ran into another hurdle. I hardly had any clothes left and I really didn't know what to do. I had the ability to literally start from scratch. I then reevaluated and started a Pinterest board to figure out what I really wanted my wardrobe to look like. I narrowed it down and turns out that there are two different style that I love: simple & classic and laid-back & bohemien. They are somewhat similar, but are definitely different. And the thing is, they're both so.. me. I couldn't choose one or the other.

simple & classic  -  laid-back bohemian

I deciphered what I liked and what attracted me to each style. With the simple & classic look, I really liked the somewhat muted colors and the ease that it portrayed. With the laid-back & bohemian look, I liked the mixture of textures and patterns, plus pretty details. After I figured this out, I combined both styles to create a wardrobe that is tailored specifically for me.

I also really needed to think logically as far as what I needed in a wardrobe. The capsule wardrobe idea is based off of having a certain amount of shirts, pants, etc., but that wasn't practical for me. You see, I hate pants. I have a very small waist and a very large ..achem.. rear end, so finding pants that actually fit me is a struggle. So, my go-to is dresses. I just have to worry about how the top fits and the bottom just kind of hangs there. You see, I had to figure out what worked for me, not what works for everyone else. 

Once I figured everything out, it was so simple. Everything in my closet can go together, so getting ready in the morning is fun. I grabbed 9 things from my closet to give you an idea of what it's like. 

Here are the pieces I selected: 

jean vest

utility vest

knee length cardigan

t-shirt dress

kimono

tank dress

white tee

animal print tank

graphic tank

and one piece of jewelry:

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The end result is so fun. All of these pieces could go together in a million different ways, but here are a few examples: 

white tee + utility vest

utility vest + animal print tank

animal print tank + knee length cardigan

kimono + graphic tank

jean vest + graphic tank

knee length cardigan + tank dress

utility vest + t-shirt dress

I also reinvented my shoe collection. Here are a few pairs you can often catch me wearing that can go with about anything in my closet:

lace-up cage wedges

sperry loafers

sperry sandals 

michael kors kitten heels

printed toms

_________________________________________________________

It really is a simple concept that makes getting ready each day not complete torture. If you're up for the challenge, I encourage you to do this too. It's just wonderful.

Until next time-

gp

Welcome to My Sunshine

I've always hated change.

*sigh*

..and my life has made some pretty big changes lately, so I figured I might as well switch this up, too.

With that being said..

Welcome to my new and improved blog: My Sunshine. And guess what? I'm planning on updating this thing more than like.. once a month. That means you get a front row seat to my not-so-normal life. You're welcome. (Please note my sarcasm there. Thanks.)

Take a look around, make yourself at home. There's a lot of new stuff and it's pretty neat, if I do say so myself.

Thanks for taking a look, friends!

xoxo, 

gp